nanay ko

Teacher: Rushwin, ano susunod sa 7?
Rushwin: 8 po!
Teacher: Sa 2?
Rushwin: 3 po!
Teacher: Ang galing mo! Sino nagturo sayo?
Rushwin: Nanay ko po!
Teacher: O sige, ano susunod sa 10?
Rushwin: Jack po!

sugar free

GMA: Ano bang hinahanap mo dyan sa 3 in 1 coffee mo at kanina ka pa silip nang silip dyan?
ERAP: Hinahanap ko yung libreng asukal! May nakasulat kasi na 'Sugarfree.'
GMA: Bobo! Banda yun!

etchuserang bird

GIRL: Ang puti ng bird mo!
BOY : Aba syempre! Likas papaya ata gamit ko dyan!
GIRL: Ginagamitan mo din ba ng downy?
BOY : Bakit, bango ba?
GIRL: Lambot eh!

aids test

Doc: Iho, bakit mu naman sinapak ung lalaki kanina?
Boy: E Doc, nakita niya na ninenerbyos ako ako sa resulta ng AIDS test! tapos sasabihin pa niya... "THINK POSITIVE pare!"

foot feet

Kumakanta si Erap with his pamangkin…

Erap : put your right feet in, put your left feet out
Pamangkin : Uncle, foot un!
Erap : Ah ganon ba Muling kumanta si Erap….
Erap : foot your right feet in, foot your left feet out

trainee

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.

On his first day, he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone:
"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded:
"You fool, you've dialed the
wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"

"No" replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, idiot!"

The trainee shouted back:
"And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director indignantly.
"Good!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.

sleeping pills

Q: Bakit tahimik magbukas ng medicine ang tanga??.....

A: A3A Aniyang magising ang mga sleeping pills..

The world will never appreciate the good you do a million times, but will criticize the one wrong thing you do.

from https://franz710.blogspot.com/2000/01/the-world-will-never-appreciate-good.html

One day a school teacher wrote on the board the following:

9×1=7
9×2=18
9×3=27
9×4=36
9×5=45
9×6=54
9×7=63
9×8=72
9×9=81
9×10=90

When she was done, she looked to the students and they were all laughing at her, because of the first equation which was wrong, and then the teacher said the following,

"I wrote that first one wrong on purpose, because I wanted you to learn something important. This was for you to know how the world out there will treat you. You can see that I wrote RIGHT 9 times, but none of you congratulated me for it; you all laughed and criticized me because of one wrong thing I did. .
So this is the lesson...

The world will never appreciate the good you do a million times, but will criticize the one wrong thing you do... But don't get discouraged, ALWAYS RISE ABOVE ALL THE LAUGHTER AND CRITICISM. STAY STRONG #STAYPOSITIVE 👍👍👍👍

Bigo sa pag-ibig??

Bigo sa pag-ibig??

Maghanap na lng ng....


KUBA - mapagkumbaba

PILAY - di ka tatakbuhan

BULAG - la paki sa looks

PIPI - di nagbibitiw ng bad words.

(at eto the best)....


DULING - di ka hahayaan mag-isa!