dinner

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

first pancake

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Raiden, 5 and Rushwin 4. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait."Raiden turned to his younger brother and said, "Rushwin, you be Jesus!"

why is it quite in the church

A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little boy replied, "Because people are sleeping."

sweet raiden

After the christening of his baby brother in church, Raiden sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."

good boy

A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."

confused

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?" One child answered, "Mary." The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?" A little kid said, "Verge." Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge n' Mary."

sakristan

Nasa bubong ang sakristan namboboso sa pari at madre...
Madre: Pano pag nabuntis ako??
Pari: bahala na ang nasa itaas!
Sakristan: T*ng ina, bakit ako? Nanonood lang naman ako!

Saan tayo madalas pumupunta pag summer upang maligo

H : Saan tayo madalas pumupunta pag summer
upang maligo?
Clue : Starts with "B" (Beach)

C : Banyo? H : Hindi, pag pumunta ka doon,
maaarawan ka.
C : Sa bubong?

H : Hindi, marami kang makikita doong mga
babaeng naka-bikini.
C : Sa beerhouse?

Ano ang ginagamit na floatation device sa dagat upang hindi ka malunod?

Host : Ano ang ginagamit na floatation device sa dagat upang hindi ka malunod?
Clue : starts with the letter S (salbabida)

Beep! Contestant : Sirena?

Host : Hinde! Hindi ito babae.
Beep! Contestant : Siyokoy?

Host : Hindi! Hindi ito lalake. Beep!
Contestant : Siyoke?

What is the national Animal of the Philippines?

H:What is the national Animal of the Philippines
Clue: Starts with the letter "K" (Kalabaw)

C: Kuto?

H: Hindi meron ito siyang sungay.
C: Kambing

H: Hindi mas malaki pa.
C: Malaking Kambing

Anong hayop sa dagat ang may walong tentacles?

Q: Anong hayop sa dagat ang may walong tentacles?
Clue: Ang pangalan niya ay nagsimula
sa "Octo" (Octopus).

A: October.

Q: Hindi, walo nga ang tentacles nito.
A: Octo-walo.

Q: Hindi pa rin. Ang hayop na ito ay walang spine
at malambot ang katawan.
A: Octoarts Dancer.

Q: Hindi, nagtatapos sa "s" ang pangalan nito.
A: Octoarts Dancers.

Q: Hindi pa rin.
A: Octomechanix

Sino and nakapatay kay Magellan?

Q: Sino and nakapatay kay Magellan?
clue:Ang initial ay L-L
A: Lito Lapid

Q: Hindi, inuulit ang pangalan nito!
A: Lito-lito lapid-lapid

Q: Hindi, konti lang ang letra ng pangalan niya
A: Lot-lot

Q: Hindi, may mga kasama siya
A: Lot-lot and friends!!!

Sino ang kauna-unahang chess grandmaster of Asia?

H : Sino ang kauna-unahang chess grandmaster of Asia?
Clue : Kapangalan niya ang tao ng chess
(Eugene Torre)

C : Carole King?

H : Hindi, mas mababa sa King.
C : Al Quinn?

H : Hindi, tagalog ang apelyido niya.
C : Armida Siguion-Reyna?

H : Hindi pa rin. Mas mababa sa reyna.
C : Bishop Bacani?

H : Mas mababa pa sa bishop.
C : Johnny Midnight?

H : Mas mababa pa sa knight.
C : Jerry Pons?

H : O ayan, ha. Nabanggit mo na ang lahat ng
piyesa. Yung kahulihulihang piyesa na lang.
C : Sylvia la Torre?